SECTION 1
One of us
The United States shall have a King, elected by write-in from among the people. Eligibility: citizenship and a pulse. The Electoral College is not consulted; the College has done enough.
The Crown Party · Campaign headquarters · Est. this week
Elect the
People's King.No face. No name. No veto.
A write-in campaign to reframe the Constitution into a constitutional monarchy: one anonymous citizen-king, one vote, a scepter, and absolutely no other powers. The states have had a rough century. Polling shows a random faceless monarch polls as an upgrade.
Proposed Amendment XXVIII · The Crown Clause
Five sections. One hat.
Ratification is a state-by-state sprint; the Crown Party is polling the potluck venues. Printed on official stationery, extremely democratic.
SECTION 2
The powers
The King shall possess: (a) one vote, identical to yours; (b) a scepter; (c) a hat, feather optional. All other powers are hereby repealed, including vetoes, decrees, and pardons for acquaintances.
SECTION 3
The anonymity
The King's identity shall not be published. The King is everyone; publishing one face would be favoritism. Any King who reveals themselves is immediately de-kinged and asked to re-register to vote.
SECTION 4
The rotation
The Crown rotates every four years, or immediately upon the King saying “nah, I’m good.” Departing Kings return to their prior employment with no gap in payroll.
SECTION 5
The scepter
The scepter is ceremonial, audited quarterly by the Scepter Accountability Office, and may not be pointed at anyone, including in jest.
The campaign promise
He is one of us. Exactly one of us. No more, no less.
Other campaigns ask you to vote for a person. We find that provincial. The People's King is every civilian and no civilian — a monarch with no face to put on currency, no name to heckle, and no biography to fact-check. Opposition research has been completed; it returned a blank page, framed.
The states are struggling. A randomly selected anonymous neighbor with one vote and a hat is, statistically, an upgrade — and unlike the alternatives, the King cannot be bought, because no one knows where to send the check.
The Crown Party platform
Four planks. Zero vetoes.
One person, one vote, one crown
The King’s entire legislative program is a single vote, cast by secret ballot like everyone else’s. Turnout among Kings is expected to be excellent.
The veto amnesty
Every veto ever issued is converted into a strongly worded royal decree — non-binding, suitable for framing, available in fine stationery stores.
Scepter accountability
A permanent Scepter Accountability Office audits the scepter quarterly. Findings are published. The scepter has nothing to hide.
No palace
The Crown acquires no real estate. The King reigns from wherever they happen to live; state dinners are potluck; the gendarmerie is a group chat.
The throne
Reserved. No name will be engraved.
97.4%
of Americans say they would trust a king who shares their group chat.
8 in 10
economists agree: one anonymous voter cannot veto the economy.
±1 crown
margin of error. Polling a faceless monarch is an inexact science.
The write-in campaign
How to crown the people
01
Write in the King
Any ballot, any race, any year. Write “The People’s King.” No campaign finance laws apply to a candidate with no name, no bank account, and no idea they are running.
02
The vote is counted
The King’s ballot is counted exactly like yours, because it is exactly like yours. This is the entire mechanism of royal authority.
03
The crown rotates
After four years the Crown passes to whichever civilian is next in line: all of them. Coronation logistics are a potluck and a folding table.
Press inquiries
Frequently asked questions
- Who is the King?
- Yes.
- Is this constitutional?
- Amendment XXVIII is constitutional by definition. Ratifying it is your homework.
- What if the King goes mad with power?
- Then the King has one vote and a scepter. The Republic endures. The scepter is audited.
- Is this about a specific person?
- No. The King has no name and no face. If you believe you know the King’s identity, you have mistaken a citizen for a monarch — please apologize to that citizen.
- How do I run for King?
- You can’t. You’re already eligible. That’s the whole platform.